For what definition of “choosy”?
I mean logically, there are 3 reasons I can think of why someone isn’t married:
- They haven’t met anyone
- They met someone, but that person rejected them
- They met someone, and rejected that person
Now if someone is at all in category 3, then the next subdivision we can make is, what are possible reasons to reject someone. And there are two scales you can rank reasons on: intrinsic and extrinsic. By intrinsic I mean, one can rate reasons on a scale of reasonableness. And by extrinsic I mean one can measure them based on their outcome.
In other words, if someone feels that they need X in a marriage, one question you can ask is, are they right. How terrible would it be for them not to have X? Would they be temporarily disappointed? Miserable for the rest of their life? So unable to deal with not having X that the marriage wouldn’t last? Etc. etc. etc. And the second question you can ask is, is X realistic? Is there anyone available for them to marry that can provide X? Are there lots of people that can? Etc. etc. etc.
I have negligible anecdotal information, and even less data. I think really the first step is to have relevant data.
But it seems likely that (1) at least half of the population is significantly in category 3, and (2) by extrinsic measures those people are too choosy. So perhaps one can argue that part of the problem is a significant impedance mismatch between people’s point on the intrinsic scale and on the extrinsic scale.
In other words, perhaps people’s needs and expectations are not calibrated with what is available.