In the circles I’m in (Toradig/ Modern Yeshivaish), the boys pay. However, I am always grateful and make sure to thank them. I do not take it for granted that they are paying for tolls, gas, the date, as well as the non payment part of time to travel back and forth and the toll it takes on them the next day from being exhausted.
When the guy travels far, I always offer to put them up for the night, and send them back with a care package of snacks and drinks.
Although it may be the “accepted thing” in my circles for the male to pay, it is important for the girls to realize what goes into it, and to appreciate it.